


Sort, Shine and Other Stuff

by Lady_Ganesh



Category: Saiyuki Gaiden
Genre: Gen, Humor, Yuletide, Yuletide Treat, management theory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-22
Updated: 2011-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-27 17:50:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/298435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Ganesh/pseuds/Lady_Ganesh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heaven institutes some improvements. Kenren is uncertain they'll survive Tenpou.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sort, Shine and Other Stuff

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Doire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doire/gifts).



Kenren frowned when he saw the look on Tenpou's face. Tenpou usually came out of meetings with a frown, but this time he looked befuddled. Almost overwhelmed. That couldn't be good. "What?"

Tenpou displayed a multicolored piece of paper. "We're all supposed to be ... properly organizing our work spaces. There's a new system, and we're required to have it fully implemented by the end of next week."

"Organizing our work spaces," Kenren said, getting up from Tenpou's chair and walking closer. He'd cleaned Tenpou's office Monday afternoon. It was Friday morning now, and you already needed to follow a path to get to the bathroom, though he'd managed to keep most of the space around the desk clear. "Organize _your_ work space. And they think you're going to do that by next Friday."

Tenpou pushed his glasses up on his nose and squinted at the paper. "It says this is a 'simple and sustainable five-step system to create visual order, cleanliness, and standardization.' It can work in any environment and gets immediate results."

"Yeah," Kenren said, taking the paper from Tenpou. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"We'll have to at least give it a try, I suppose," Tenpou said. "Have you seen the ashtray?"

 **1\. Seirei (Sort)**

Kenren held the memo up carefully. It was stained with coffee, and appeared to have a small burn in the corner. There was so much grease soaking through the paper it was almost translucent; that must've happened afterward, or the whole office probably would've burnt down. "You _can't_ need this. You can't even tell what it is."

Tenpou snatched it from him. "It's the memo establishing SMART goals."

"Then you _definitely_ don't need it," Kenren retorted, and snatched it back. SMART goals had disappeared two months ago, and no one had mourned them.

"I suppose you're right," Tenpou reflected, as Kenren threw the paper into the ever-growing garbage bag.

"Of course I'm right," Kenren said, studiously ignoring the stack of papers that said _Confidential: For the Emperor's Eyes ONLY._

 **2\. Seiton (Set In Order)**

Kenren looked at the bookshelf and said, "This is a bad plan."

"Why?" Tenpou cocked his head to the left. "Alphabetization is a simple and effective filing method."

"For normal people, maybe." Kenren pointed to _Gone With the Wind._ "But three days from now, you're gonna want to put that book next to _Genji,_ and then you'll be wondering where the _Mahabharata_ went and everything's gonna end up in a pile again."

"Hmm." Tenpou cocked his head to the right. "But if I put all my epics together, what will happen when I want my Japanese novels?"

Kenren waved his cigarette dismissively. "I don't care," he said. "Try picking some categories that at least sound a little like how your brain works, and maybe we'll have some chance of this working."

 **3\. Seiso (Shine)**

"Are you sure I can't--"

"Just get out of my way," Kenren grumbled, pushing the broom past Tenpou's feet. "Take a bath or something."

"I don't need a bath--"

"You _always_ need a bath," Kenren said, thwacking Tenpou's filthy boot affectionately with the broom. "Go."

Tenpou retreated. At least, Kenren reflected, the cleaning went more quickly now they'd cleared out five garbage bags worth of junk.

 **4\. Seiketsu (Standardize)**

"I suppose," Tenpou said, "this is where putting all the Indian items together has helped." He held a tiny bejeweled naga in his hand, and seemed dangerously close to putting it on top of a precarious pile of other delicate, fragile-looking keepsakes.

"Helped _what?"_ The office looked perilously close to regaining its former chaos, a victim of Tenpou's creative methods of following directions. "You're supposed to find a place for everything. Giant piles don't count."

"Are you sure?" Tenpou asked.

Kenren rolled his eyes.

Tenpou sighed. "Fine, fine. I'll put the Indian items on that bookshelf?"

That seemed reasonably promising. It even looked like there might be room over there. "Yeah," Kenren said. "Do that."

At least they'd agreed on a permanent spot for the ashtray. Tenpou had his flaws, but he always kept his priorities straight.

 **5\. Shitsuke (Sustain)**

"Ah," Tenpou said, as he entered Konzen's office. "It's remarkably tidy in here."

Konzen shrugged. "It's that 5S thing," he said. "Stupid, but it seems to have improved things."

Of course, Konzen's office, like his demeanor and absurdly pretty face, always looked terribly close to perfect; one might even say _heavenly,_ if Tenpou didn't know exactly how messy and absurd Heaven was most days. "You've taken the 'sustain' step to heart, I see."

Konzen regarded the carefully painted border outlining the shape of his inkwell. "Eh, they came in here and did that. They didn't do it in your office?"

Tenpou's mouth twisted. "They came in to do it," he said carefully. "The General said they pronounced me hopeless once he explained to them we'd established six bins for incoming mail. I'm afraid I've begun reverting back to old habits." He looked at the other careful lines on Konzen's desk. "Perhaps more borders would have helped...."

Konzen looked up. "Six? Top priority, and--"

Tenpou counted on his fingers. "Second priority, things I need to pretend to care about, things I hold on to for appearances, shopping flyers, and receipts."

Konzen's pretty brows drew together. "Receipts?"

"An army marches on its stomach," Tenpou said primly. "At times our men require reimbursement. It's important to take care of these things quickly."

"So your office hasn't changed much," Konzen said. If Tenpou didn't know better, he'd think Konzen was contemplating a smile.

"Oh, it's not entirely unchanged. We've found a place for the ashtray."

"Of course," Konzen said, and handed Tenpou his paperwork. "There, it's all stamped. Oh, and there's a meeting tomorrow."

Tenpou raised an eyebrow. "In regards to--"

"I'm not sure," Konzen said, "but they had charts. And something they were going to project on the wall. I believe they said something about 'goal sequencing.'"

"And so we progress ever onward," Tenpou said dryly.

"Indeed."

**Author's Note:**

> [5S](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5S_%28methodology%29) is a real thing and is used all over the place to improve efficiency. If you look carefully, sometimes you can see it at cashier stations. Thanks to nekonexus, my beta!


End file.
